Canadian author Jessica Waite, in her memoir A Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards, shares the emotional turmoil she faced after discovering her late husband Sean’s infidelity following his sudden death in 2015. Waite uncovered Sean’s secret life while using his iPad to contact the hospital, stumbling upon a revealing browsing history, including searches for “Houston escorts” and their locations.
Over the next months, Waite unearthed more about Sean’s betrayal. She learned he had regularly seen escorts, cheated on her with several women, and downloaded a vast collection of porn, meticulously organized in folders. Sean had even rented an apartment in Colorado for his affairs.
In her memoir, Waite candidly describes her struggle to come to terms with Sean’s hidden life. Grieving and feeling disconnected, she recounted taking his ashes to her garden, mixing them with her dog’s faeces. In a moment of despair, she even consumed some of his ashes, describing the experience in vivid detail. “The remains feel dry against my fingertips… a mineral mud on the back of my tongue. I swallow,” she writes.
Though Waite has since moved on to a new relationship, the pain of Sean’s betrayal lingers. “I feel better and stronger than before,” she reflects, “but I still cry almost every day… a part of me has died.”
